You are good enough. You are good enough. Words I say out loud to myself as I sit in the school parking lot. It was a rough morning and I knew it was going to be a long day, I could just feel it. I'm being pulled in a million different directions, my mind is in overload, I'm overwhelmed, exhausted - just feeling all the emotions.
Some days I feel like that, some nights I cry myself to sleep, and other mornings I wake up and feel like I can take on the world. My days are long and my nights are short, I don't have much free time and our schedules are super tight with work, school, therapy and extra curricular activities. I carry a lot of weight on my shoulders, being a single parent isn't an easy job but so many like myself, do it on a daily basis.
I always feel like I'm answering to someone or always having to explain our situation and how we got here. I don't always feel like talking about my single parent life or how we make ends meet or why things didn't work out but some days I even find myself asking the same questions. I don't have all the answers and probably never will, honestly I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what our future will be like or what God has in store for me and my little family.
Our life is crazy, my circle is small but the few friends and family I do have, are great at giving, loving, listening and just being there when I need them. They get it, they are understanding and I'm so thankful for them.
It's been three years, three long years that we've been on our own and I won't even mention half the stuff we've been through. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? I've made many sacrifices as a parent and probably will continue to do so, that's just part of parenting. I feel like the last few years I've made even more just so I can provide for my kids, and make sure they have everything they need.
These last few years have probably been the hardest and most challenging years for me, juggling it all, managing everything, but I've done it. I've came out on top again and again, I'm stronger then ever before, my heart has healed, dishes and laundry stay caught up and I'm happy, very happy. I'm a fighter, I'm not the person I used to be. I wake up at 5:30 everyday and work hard, bust my butt all while running on only a few hours of sleep. Why? Because I love my life and I love my kids, and I do it all for them.